Can a woman be a friend of a man. Men's opinion: "You can be friends with a woman, but under certain conditions ...". Returning to the Friend Zone and Friendship Problem

Since ancient times, people believed that it was just friends female   and a man can’t, and they were allowed to live together only after marriage. Nowadays, the relationship between a man and a woman has changed dramatically.

Nowadays, no one is surprised when a man and female   work together, play sports, relax, travel and spend the weekend. Moreover, it is not at all necessary that a romantic relationship develops between them. Of course, they can simply be friends with a man and a woman, but only pure friendship between them is a rather rare occurrence. What prevents a man and a woman from just being friends?

One of the main reasons obstructing   friendship between a woman and a man is a sexual attraction. Women expect greater confidence and emotionality from inter-sexual friendship, which becomes the cause of sexual tension. If between friends of the opposite sex it comes to intimate relationships, then a woman can no longer accept a man as a friend. She expects from him a declaration of love and a marriage proposal.

Men, however, believe that sex cannot become the cause of the destruction of friendshipHe only makes her stronger. According to them, only sexual attractiveness makes friendship between a woman and a man possible. However, men are confident that the friendship between a man and a woman cannot be compared with sexual relations. Friendship brings much more satisfaction and benefits than sex. She is better and higher.

With a female friend you can to communicate   on more interesting and relevant topics than with male friends. Women, however, believe that having a male friend is a great happiness. Friendship with him is easier and more honest than with friends. Next to a male friend, a woman feels protected and strong, she can communicate with him without the shadow of envy and maliciousness that accompany many representatives of the fair sex when communicating with friends.

It is very difficult to distinguish friendship between a woman and a man from love. As well as from hatred, from friendship to love - one step. Apparently therefore, public misunderstanding can be a serious obstacle to the continuation of friendly relations between a man and a woman. Family members, work colleagues and friends see people of different sexes as not friends, but lovers. This is most often the reason that prevents a man from being friends with another woman other than his wife or woman, with another man other than his husband.

Indeed, to distinguish friendship from love not easy, they have a lot in common. But friendship is more than love. People loving each other idealize the reality and object of their love. In most cases, lovers are united only by sex drive, and friendship between them is absent. Very often, lovers do not find a common topic for communication, do not trust each other, are jealous and make scandals on the topic: "Who owes whom?"

Friendship is   between man and woman   built on mutual trust, common interests and affection. True friends spend time together, communicate and help each other in difficult situations. They are always there, regardless of the circumstances. You don’t have to share anything with a friend; he does not betray and does not scandal. With friends, life is much more interesting, especially if they respect each other and have common views. True friends are not envious; they wholeheartedly rejoice for the successes of their friend and accept him for who he is.

To find out what feelings is experiencing   your friend to you, ask him the question: "What attracts him the most in you?". If he answers that he likes your appearance and demeanor, then most likely he feels more tender feelings for you. Friends do not pay much attention to each other's figure, clothes, hair and other external qualities; there is no jealousy and distrust between them.

friendship between a woman and a man   very fragile, ruining it is easy and simple. To prevent this, do not give even the slightest excuse for the possibility of other relations than friendly ones. Do not show excessive interest in your friend’s personal life and avoid situations that may provoke an intimate relationship between you.

Do not communicate with friend   on topics related to his sex life, do not tell him about his personal life in such details that he will have an interest in you as a representative of the opposite sex. Is it possible to behave in this way in reality?

Not right was A.P. Chekhov, who claimed that a man can be friends with a woman only after having previously slept with her? That is, without a romantic relationship, there can be no friendship between a man and a woman. Undoubtedly, between friends of the opposite sex, sooner or later questions will arise regarding love and sex. Even if friends are not in love with each other, for various reasons they might think, “Why not try it?” Nature takes its toll, there's nothing to be done.

Do not believe with man fishingwho offers you: "Let's stay friends!". There can be no real friendship between people who once had romantic feelings for each other. This is usually said only in order not to offend the rejected lover. Even if some kind of relationship develops between you, then this is not friendship, but pure flirtation, in which you will live with the intention that someday he will finally understand that he was mistaken and will offer you not to be friends, but live together.

Friendly relations between a man and a woman have a solid foundation in Asian countries and in India,   where there is a whole ritual when a man and a woman declare themselves brother and sister, while not having a consanguineous relationship.   European culture   however, he sees diverse friendships rather as an exception to the rule. In any case, neither in European literature, nor in fine art, nor in religious sources are there sufficient examples to draw conclusions about the friendship of a man and a woman, as a common occurrence.

However, a survey conducted in one of the European Internet portals showed enough loyal respondents to the possibility of such a relationship.   More than five hundred people were interviewed in the same ratio of men and women of three age categories. Despite the fact that among the answers there were denials of the possibility of friendly relations, there were no more than a third in all categories of respondents.

true at an older age   the ratio changes somewhat - the number of men admitting the possibility of friendly relations with a woman decreases, and, conversely, on the female side there is an increase in the number of supporters of friendship.

It is important to understand what you want from a relationship. Then it will be possible to establish those connections that are comfortable. How to do it? Watch the video!

Of course, the results of the polls cannot be considered the ultimate truth, since any poll expresses, first of all, the respondent’s own opinion based on personal experience. In addition, participation in friendships does not allow you to feel the feelings of the opposite side. It is likely that there are more prosaic (or vice versa romantic?) Relationships, when one of the “friends” is hopelessly and unrequitedly in love, and only an imitation of friendly relations allows him to be near the object of adoration.

Probability and Opportunity

The friendship between a man and a woman should be fully exclude sex drive,   from which it can be difficult to resist, especially to a man, due to his physiological characteristics. This can only mean one thing - if in a relationship there is interest in a friend as a representative of the opposite sex, then talking about friendship is not correct.

Friendships are most likely between classmates and childhood friends.   As it was said in one of the popular TV shows - joint sitting on the pots will be an excellent vaccine against love. However, in this case, an imbalance in relations is possible, which the partner may not even suspect.

Do not stand up to criticism   friendships between a married man and a married woman,   at least among the average spouses, such relations are unlikely to become pleasant to the second half. Most likely, attempts will be made to end such a friendship.

The psychology of such different creatures as man and woman does not allow them to build friendships by analogy with same-sex friendship. Nevertheless, even if on the one hand there are elements of love, this not only should not interfere with the relationship, but can also be characterized as a specificity of diverse friendships.

Almost everything seems to be known about friendship. That men - do not spill water and only sympathy for the same girl can embroil them. And that female friendship, by and large, does not happen. First of all, due to the fact that we have ten guys for ten girls, according to statistics.

Only the phenomenon of friendship between a man and a woman remains unexplained by British and other serious scientists. Perhaps due to the lack of the phenomenon itself.

In other words, is there still this variant of the relationship between heterosexual people of childbearing age or is it not?

Vladimir Pozner wrote in one of his brilliant interviews that in modern journalism no one has been interested in fair coverage of events and facts for a long time. But opinions are very appreciated.

Using this carte blanche from the master, I will venture to express my opinion on this topic.

You can make friends with a woman. But under certain conditions.

Firstly, you can be friends with an ugly woman. Your brain will shirk from the sexual connotation of communication, and you will be able to communicate with her almost freely. Discuss news, children, football, weather, even your relationship with other women. She will laugh at your jokes, touch her hair, lick her lips. It will not touch you. At least while you're in a sober mind. Yes, with ugly women it is better not to sit down for a drink. Sayings do not lie.

Secondly make friends it turns out with unattractive women.   It may seem that ugly and unattractive are one and the same thing. Not really. There are girls who can be considered quite beautiful in the classical sense. But they are not sexually attracted. Either the type is not yours, or the pheromones are not yours. But even physiology, and behavior, affects more. The reasons may be different. Whether she is the mother of three children and, in principle, she is not up to flirting. Either the head or the business man and she, again, is not up to stupid things. Whether she once upon a time, as an embarrassing teenager, decided for herself that she was an ugly girl, and did not rely on the princes since then, without noticing her attractiveness herself. A kind of ugly duckling who did not look at himself carefully for a long time and did not realize how beautiful, in principle, the swan turned out. Bottom line - the woman is beautiful, but not sexy. You can be friends with her, yes. And you can even drink with it. Nothing bad (or good, how to look) will not work.

Thirdly, relatives. Well, incest is not an option at all. So there’s nothing to even comment on.

And everyone else remains. With them is much more interesting.

You communicate with them (if your chosen one allows you, of course), it seems like you are friends. But the situation always remains slightly ambiguous.   That is, God forbid, even in thoughts you do not allow yourself to think about it in a romantic way. After all, you are a reliable, confident and responsible man. And you understand that if something happens, something valuable will be torn off to you. Well, if the head. Or, as one of my acquaintances says, “I’ll chop it in nickels!”

But at the same time, if you are alone, say, on an uninhabited island ... And if you happen to be just the last people on earth (in a positive sense) ... Well, then, damn he knows! Well, that is, it is still possible!

And it also happens that these eyes opposite signal approximately the same thoughts. You communicate, as if waiting for one of the parties to one day break loose and attack the opposite (in the sense of the opposite) side.

Agree, the friendship turns out to be somewhat tense. It seems nice and trusting a person, and looking away is scary.

And yet she is. This friendship. We are adults, developed and cultured. Accordingly, they are quite capable of controlling these stupid natural instincts, ordering them to renew their family at any opportunity, be it a corporate party, going to a cottage, going to a bathhouse or a simple Russian blues.

We are above that. And we can gracefully conduct unhurried conversations about abstract things, even in those moments when no one is looking at us.

I hope you agree, friends.

This can be very important. There may be such a moment in life when you have to shout: "How could you think this? It's just a friend!"

Let's all together support this friendship version, to make this argument believable. Just in case…

For many people, friendship between women seems to be just a myth that you want to believe in, but hard to trust.

It is on trust that friendships are based. And the fact of the trust of one representative of the sex in relation to another woman is very often called into question for the simple reason that every woman in any other woman feels a rival rather than one who can be trusted with her happiness, secrets and fears.
  All this can be trusted only to a friend.

Communicating with people, maintaining a conversation, showing their good disposition, evoking reciprocal thanks, does not mean that there are only friends around.
  But women have friends, no matter how good a woman’s relationship with a man is, women prefer to share their girlish secrets with their friends.

This fact is a strong argument that female friendship is taking place.

After all, it is with a girlfriend that you can talk about anything, discuss sacred topics, men's strengths and weaknesses. Only a friend will honestly put all her dreams on the shelves, help to remove pink glasses, she will put up her female shoulder in a friendly manner, which can honestly be cried. A friend will give on a date to put on her favorite dress and shoes, help to put on makeup and do a hairstyle, with knowledge of the case will tell you how to behave properly on the first date, which can be allowed on the second.

Regardless of how many years women are friends and at what age they are, a lot is allowed to a girlfriend. Sometimes even the husband begins to realize that the wife’s girlfriend is a full member of the family, takes a direct part in solving important issues. Even that it is time to have children or a lover, it is the wife’s girlfriend who decides. In fact, there are a lot of such moments associated with a friend.

Therefore, there should be no doubt about the existence of friendship between women. But is everything so simple and clear? Indeed, not every girlfriend is a personalized faithful friend, many of them only pretend to be.

How to understand whether a girlfriend is a girlfriend?

1. A real friend, providing assistance, does not expect gratitude and does not derive her own benefit from the current situation. She will not blame her for having once provided assistance. But it is worth remembering that, like any normal person, when providing a service, it means a reciprocal step if necessary. Indeed, considering herself a friend, she hopes for mutual friendships.
2. A true friend will not focus on the assistance provided, will not mention the inconvenience that she experienced while providing support. This indicates selflessness on her part.
3. A true friend will not savor unpleasant facts from the life of a woman with whom she maintains sincere friendships with other people.
4. A very significant plus for a real friend is that she never interferes in the relationship of the girl, whom she considers her girlfriend, with a man. She will not act as a rival.
5. All criticism coming from a friend is constructive. A friend will not say bad only because she so wanted. It will certainly lead to an unpleasant fact, but at the same time it will provide an opportunity to independently make an important decision, without crushing its authoritative opinion.
6. A true girlfriend will always support you in a difficult situation, join in a dispute if the forces are not equal with the enemy, or try to help find a solution that will allow you to get out of an unpleasant situation with less loss. After all, next to a girlfriend, it’s not scary to lose.

In a friendship between women, it is important to remember that not only a girlfriend should always be faithful and sincere, but also that this very girlfriend deserves a friendly relationship.

Culture

Scientists asked men and women "friends" what they really think and received completely different answers.

Judging by the experience of many people, friendship between a man and a woman is not only possible, but also quite common. Representatives of the opposite sexes live, work and communicate with each other and at the same time somehow avoid intimate relationships. However, according to scientists, we just think that we can be “just friends”, although the ability to start a romance always remains and may manifest itself at the most inopportune moment.

Scientists from the University of Wisconsin-Okler attracted 88 pairs of friends of the opposite sex to the study. All participants were assured of confidentiality and anonymity to ensure honest answers. In addition, both "friends" had to agree that they would not discuss the study. Couples separated and each was asked questions regarding their romantic feelings or their absence in relation to a friend.

The results of the survey showed that men and women have different attitudes toward friendship with members of the opposite sex. As it turned out, men were more often attracted to their female friends than vice versa. In addition, men often believed that their girlfriend had the same feelings for them.

In fact, this had nothing to do with the feeling of women who were also very mistaken. As a rule, they were not attracted to their male friends, and they believed that lack of attraction was mutual.

All this suggests that it is much more difficult for a man to remain in the status of only a friend and they see the opportunity to establish more intimate relations in supposedly platonic friendship.

In another study, 245 adults, including married couples, were asked to list the positive and negative aspects of friendship with the opposite sex. At this romantic attraction was five times more often called as a negative factorthan positive. However, again, this was more about women, while men considered it an advantage.

So can men and women be friends? If you argue as a woman, then yes, they can. But if you think from a male point of view, then if there was an opportunity, friendship would easily turn into a romance.